he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
