i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
