Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
