Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
