so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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