can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
