I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
