Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
