Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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