a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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