I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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