I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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