The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I came so hard my ears popped.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
