The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How external is "for external use only"?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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