Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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