Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
