Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
