watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
