so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Boobs speak an international language.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
