Where did you get a picture of my penis
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
