i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
