and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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