goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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