Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
