Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
COCAINE IS GR8
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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