He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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