I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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