i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
