Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
