ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
