Yo dont text me then not text me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
