You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
