Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
