So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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