i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think i have two assholes
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
