Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
