winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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