so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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