Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
