The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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