So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
