We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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