What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
