i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize