We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
