Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
