Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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