i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
