Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just google imaged poop.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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