it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
